maggies_lens

No, I'm NOT ok.
Let me start at the beginning.
Al asked me a couple days ago if I owuld like to go ice skating with himself and some mates. I leapt at the chance as I utterly adore ice skating and used to do it a lot. The new rink at Docklands was apparently utterly beautiful. I couldn't wait. I was SO excited!!!!!
The new rink is indeed simply stunning! It's huge, it's beautiful, it's now Australia's Ice Sports Centre for the Olympic ice games teams (curling, hockey, ice skating in it's various forms). I was enchanted. Couldn't WAIT to get out on the ice again.
When I did, tho, for the life of me I could not find my old balance. Decided to take it very easy and just skated VERY slowly around the edge, holding on to the wall. On the 3rd round I felt my left leg go and me start to fall. I spun on my right leg and my left leg flicked up awkwardly. I felt the knee on my left leg go. It's the WORST feeling in the world. A feeling of utter WRONGNESS and sheer unholy PAIN.
I don't remember hitting the ice although everyone tells me I did a beautiful safety tuck. I lay there screaming while everyone rushed to my side. I desp wanted to straighten my leg as I know this pops a dislocated knee back in but I couldn't talk other than to let out little screams of agony and they had immobilised it, which is also the correct thing to do if you don't know what you are doing.
They lifted me off the ice and onto some chairs. I managed to flick my leg out at this stage even tho my stomach was roiling from the agony I knew I was about to put myself i. I knew it was the only way and that the longer it was out, the worse it would be for me. At least this way it was on my own terms. The WRONG feeling was gone but now my leg was awash with liquid flames of sheeer unholy pain I can't even begin to describe to you.
I don't recall much from there on. I was apparently passing in and out every couple of minutes. I know I was SHAKING, from pain, from shock, from the cold and from terror I had broken something. I remember very dimly people talking to me. The staff put a jacket over me to keep me warm. Marisa, one of Al's mates, held my hand and was really good. Jack arrived while we were waiting for the ambo's. Al was holding me and I was half breaking his hand as wave after wave of hell broke over my body.
I refused to cry.
The ambo's arrived and instantly I relaxed, knowing I was in the hands of some of the best medical professionals in the world. The lady, Jacqui, made me open my eyes and look at her. I guess she was judging how far gone I was. The guy, Andy, calmed my breathing down. I dind't realise I had been hyperventilating. They started asking me questions which I did my best to answer, like what year it was etc. When Andy asked if I knew what the Green Stick painkiller was I smiled and nodded and said 'yes, mate, I'm a firie.' Their attitude changed from super serious to very warm and friendly then. Nothing like being amoung your own.
I got given the Green Stick which was just FOUL but def took the edge of the pain off. For those that don't know, the Green Stick is the informal name for an inhalter painkiller. The formal name escapes me for the moment. It STINKS and it tastes absolutly horrible. You know the thick white-board markers? Imagine the smell, thats' what it tastes like. But I was in so much pain I gulped that sucker down like it was toffee. Got moved onto a stretcher and wheeled out tot he ambulance. Past a long line of people waiting to go in for a skate. There fell thsi deathly hush as I was wheeled past until I gave everyone the thumbs up sign, then the jokes came thick and fast.
Once in the ambulance I got given a needle with morphine. I didn't want much; I wanted to stay awake. Weirdest sensation. I felt it like a very rapidly spreading heat from between my shoulder blades and down my back. I could still feel my knee but it was like it was... not really part of my body anymore. Andy, Jacqui and I had a good old natter on the way to the Alfred, they were really lovely. They asked who put my knee back in. When I said I had done it, they went white and said omg YOU did it? I said yeah why? They said holy shit you are one very, very tough cookie! Most people would be in waaaaaaaaaay too much pain to have that much awareness of what they needed to do and why. Yay. I'm tough ;-)
Had a bit of a wait in admin and then in the ER, Al was with me the whole time. Got x-rayed, poked and proded. Much to the dr's shock, nothing was broken. The nurses and dr were shell shocked I'd put the knee back in myself on purpose too. Got given a leg brace which goes from thigh to ankle and had immobilised my leg totally. Got sent home. The shock of it all caught up to me once the needle was out, I passed out in the wheelchair and was apparently shaking like a leaf again. Sleeping with the brace on is uncomfortbale but I'm way too scared to take it off in case the knee goes again. I'll leave it on for a few more nights I think.
I'm mainly too scared to move. I'm scared the knee will go out again and I just can't deal with the pain. It's swollen to about 4-5 times it's normal size. Going to the loo is an experiance. And it took me forever to work out how to seat myself in the shower on the seat Al made for me. I needed his help.
Dr's have said I may NOT ever get on skates or blades EVER again, and I will prob have to wear a knee brace to ride from now on. No jumping. Leg brace has to stay on 6-8 weeks.
Called parents this morning to tell them what happened. Mum FREAKED OUT and it took a sec to calm her down. Have been pretty much just sitting here all day. Work knows and i'm off all next week. We'll see how I am after that. Dunno how the hell I'm going to get there, or how I'm going to get up the steps. *sigh* Oh and my viens are hard to find. I now have needle tracks up and down my arm like a junkie. Classy!